I was surprised when I heard the door open. I wondered if he needed something from me, and a part of me hoped he would stay.
He entered and walked in front of me.
"Did you leave today?" He asked, looking down on me. It took a second for me to realize what he was asking. When he wasn't around, I always stayed at the apartment like he wanted. Even if I wanted to leave, there was nothing for me to do.
"No," I replied with no hesitation. Before I could think about why he asked, a sudden sharp pain rang throughout my head. My vision blinded white. I said nothing, the beating of my throbbing temple loud in my eardrums. It was the wrong answer.
With one hand he grabbed my hair tightly and pulled. I knew what he wanted. I stumbled off of the couch and onto my knees.
"Try again," Edgar spat through clenched teeth. "Did you leave?"
I blinked, the white of the punch's impact fading away into the room's darkness. I looked up at him, confused. Sometimes it was like this. I didn't know what else to say besides the truth.
"No," I repeated. Another punch.
"Why are you lying to me?" He demanded, his eyes wide.
Lying? I didn't understand.
I opened my mouth but another punch cut me off. My cheek burned, and my nose started to bleed. Edgar's face was nothing but a blur as the room spun around me. I felt sick. My head pounded.
"I do everything for you and this is the thanks I get?" His words made me feel guilty, but I still didn't know what he wanted me to say. I tried to think about what it could be, but it was hard to remember. The days blended together. "I thought you loved me, Ashley." His expression softened, and I hated myself for making him feel that way.
"I do," I sputtered through my nosebleed. That was also the truth. I really do. I love him so much. He did so much for me, and I never did anything for him. But I couldn't remember.
"Really? But you're lying to me, I know you left today." I was nauseous. His fist squeezed tightly at my scalp when I didn't respond. "Someone saw you." I froze.
I couldn't remember, but I must've left today.
Another punch. It felt like my head was going to explode. My ears were ringing. The corners of my vision blurred and I couldn't see anything. Losing what little vision I had left made me panicked. This time he let go of my hair and I fell forward, barely managing to put my hands on the floor in time to catch myself. My blood dripped onto the floor.
"I wouldn't have been mad, but you just had to lie to me," Edgar kneeled down and looked at me. I struggled to focus on him. He leaned into my good ear. "Now I'll give you one last chance: Did you leave today?"
"Yeah," I forced out through the pain. I must've been high. It was hard to remember but the drugs made it harder. And I always do things I regret when I'm high. I did leave.
He was silent for a moment, and then stood up. I thought it was fine. Then he grabbed my head with both hands and kneed me in the face. I heard a loud crack echo through my skull as his knee connected with my nose.
I choked. I couldn't hold it. I doubled over. I felt the vomit stinging in my mouth as I threw up. My vomit and blood mixed together, and Edgar took a step back as it splattered on the floor. My chest lurched as pained gags tore my throat. I couldn't stop. The blood and vomit seeped through my fingers as I struggled to keep it in. My nausea went away, but the constant stabbing pain in my nose and face stayed. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
"I can't even look at you right now," he said, his voice low. "You're disgusting."
I felt Edgar lean in again. I flinched even as he gently brushed a few hairs that had stuck to my face with sweat and blood and vomit. Then his gloved hand rested on my bruised cheek, lifting my head up to look at him. It was cool against my burning skin. I didn't deserve it when he touched me like this.
"I put up with so much shit that no one else would. You're nothing without me. Remember that next time you think about lying to me."
He let go and I slumped my head, unable to hold it up any longer.
"Clean this up," he said. His footsteps faded away and he shut the door behind him, leaving me alone once again.
It was these moments that I had waited for.
As I ascended the stairs towards the apartment that Ashley was in, I felt a deep burning disgust inside of me. I hated him. He was nothing more than something to hurt whenever I wanted. Besides that I want nothing to do with him. But for now, I enjoy what I have. He's a fun toy to play with. Once he stops satisfying me I will kill him.
I opened the door. He was sitting on the couch and he turned to me. He didn't say anything. It was fortunate that he barely talked in the first place.
I walked over and stood in front of him. I stared at him, not even bothering to tilt my head down.
"Did you leave today?" I asked. I already knew what I had come here to do. I didn't care what his answer was. It's all the same to me.
Confusion flashed on his face as he looked at me. My hands ached to hit him right then and there but I wanted to give him a chance to answer first. It didn't matter if it was the truth or not.
"No," Ashley finally said. I raised my fist and punched him in his temple. I felt a slight pain shoot through my arm from the impact, but it soon melted away into pleasure.
I grabbed his hair tightly and pulled. He stumbled onto his knees. He looked pathetic like this. His only place is beneath me.
"Try again," I said. "Did you leave?"
He looked up at me, dazed. He's never tried to defend himself. He never stops me. The euphoria that I felt standing over him sent shivers down my spine.
"No," he said again. That's it. I struck him again. I'll make him say what I want to.
"Why are you lying to me?"
And when he opened his mouth to speak I punched him again. This time my fist made contact with his cheek. Blood poured from his nose, and his eye glazed over with pain and confusion.
"I do everything for you and this is the thanks I get?" Ashley averted his gaze, I could tell he was feeling guilty. I softened my face, feigning hurt to rub salt into it. "I thought you loved me, Ashley."
Ashley choked on his nosebleed. "I do," he finally managed.
"Really? But you're lying to me, I know you left today." I squeeze my hand tighter at his scalp, my gloves' leather creaking from the movement. I made my voice low and accusatory. "Someone saw you." He tensed at my words.
I punched him again, harder. I let his hair go, and he fell forward, struggling to catch himself. I narrowed my eyes and kneeled down beside him.
"I wouldn't have been mad, but you just had to lie to me," I whisper, my words laced with disappointment. "Now I'll give you one last chance: Did you leave today?"
"Yeah," Ashley finally managed. He wasn't looking at me anymore. I stood up and stared at him for a moment. Then I grabbed his head and slammed my knee into his face. I felt a loud crunch against my knee. He fell to the floor with his hands clutching his mouth and nose. His chest heaved with choked gags as blood and vomit spilled between his fingers. He threw up all over himself and the floor. I took a step back to take it all in. I couldn't help my smile. When he stopped, he wiped his mouth with his hand.
"I can't even look at you right now," I said, lowering my voice. "You're disgusting." It was only half the truth. In fact, I enjoyed looking at him like this, with his shirt stuck to his body with vomit and his hair matted against his sweaty forehead. I kneeled down next to him, enjoying the way that he flinched when I came closer.
I brushed a few hairs behind his ear, as gently as I could pretend to be while I looked at his mutilated face. I felt him lean into my touch. He was pathetic. If I killed him right now, he would be nothing but another nameless, disgusting junkie found dead in his own blood and vomit.
"I put up with so much shit that no one else would. You're nothing without me. Remember that next time you think about lying to me." I let his head drop back to his chest. "Clean this up," I ordered as I stood up. I was satisfied for now, but I'll be back later.